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One Year Ago...

A year ago today my water broke unexpectedly. It still feels like just yesterday. I was only 34 weeks along and it seemed to happen out of nowhere. Of course, being my first pregnancy, I didn't exactly know what was happening. I had some idea but thought there was no way; it was simply way too early for that. We quickly made our way to the hospital where it was definitively confirmed - my water broke and I would not be going home anytime soon. In movies when they show a woman's water breaking, it's very quickly followed by the start of labor. Well apparently, that's a lie. 😂 We stayed in the hospital for a week, waiting and hoping labor would start. To our genuine surprise, it didn't. We spent six frustrating and exhausting days in the hospital, talking with the medical team about NICU plans, trying different medications to induce labor, and at times losing our patience with the process. Finally, after a long week, we made the reluctant decision to go ahead with a c-section. It was completely heartbreaking for me, as I had spent so many hours preparing for a natural birth in a birth center, and this was going to be the exact opposite of what I had hoped for. I was sad and scared and confused about why my water had broken in the first place.

During the c-section, my doctor discovered that Wilder had a velamentous cord insertion, where there are exposed blood vessels connecting the umbilical cord to the placenta. Even after all of my (many) anatomy scans, it had gone undiagnosed. It was in that moment that it all made sense. Why my water had broken early, why labor had not started, why we ended up in the hospital so early, and why we ended up in a c-section. We knew wholeheartedly that God was watching out for me and for Wilder. What could have been an extremely dangerous situation for both me and Wilder, especially as he continued to grow throughout the rest of my pregnancy, ended with him arriving safely, albeit early.

I realized that we had never shared the miracle of his birth and all that God did for us during that time. Even though Wilder was in the NICU for almost a month, we know it was the best-case scenario given the birth complication. No parent would ever choose to have their child in the NICU. It was a very trying time aside from dealing with postpartum, c-section recovery, and processing the birth experience that we didn't want. But, a year later, we are even more convinced that it was God, in His sovereignty, stepping in to protect us. Wilder's life is a miracle in so many ways, from being frozen for 5.5 years, to him making his way into our lives, to his miraculous birth story. I think God has big plans for this boy, and we are just the fortunate ones to have a front-row seat.

My mom sent us this verse right after he was born, and it perfectly sums it up - Proverbs 16:9 - "The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps." We had our plan for how Wilder's birth was going to go, but God knew better. And we're thankful He did.

Grace With Attitude

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