When a Glittery Banner Makes You Feel Like a Hypocrite
Yesterday, Ray and I had the pleasure of hosting my family for Thanksgiving for the first time (cue: anxiety about cooking your first turkey ever). There's really nothing like getting together to catch up with people you love, spend time with all of the adorable littles, and of course, eat some supremely delicious food. Thanksgiving has always been one of my absolute favorite holidays, and I really enjoyed planning for the day. Even so, the last couple of years I have really struggled with this season, and still do. It's been very difficult to feel thankful, and frankly all too easy to feel completely un-grateful and also completely cheated with the loss of my dad. The holidays are a wonderful time to spend with family, but with a huge part of our family missing, the absence is simply painful.
As I was planning for Thanksgiving day, I found the *cutest* glittery banner that says "thankful" - and I obviously had to have it. But to be honest, it did make me feel a little bit hypocritical. I have not been thankful or grateful for much lately, and have sort of let myself wallow in all of the unfortunate things that have happened recently, giving myself a pass for having a bad attitude about life in general. And I thought, this is why Thanksgiving is great. Not because we get to eat amazing food, and not even because we get to spend time with people we love, but because it forces us to focus and truly find something - anything - to be thankful for. And although the last couple of months (years) have been quite tumultuous for us, the truth is that we still do have so much to be thankful for. I'm thankful for family, and that we get to live so close to so many family members now, and that we've been blessed with a beautiful new home where we can gather and enjoy being together. I'm thankful for my wonderful husband and what a joy he is to my life, even in my darkest of days. And I'm thankful for a God who loves me and gives me endless grace and is always there, even in times when I don't even feel like acknowledging that.
A while back I posted a quote that said “There’s always something to be thankful for.” So much life has happened since I originally posted that, and I'll admit I've looked at it with bitterness at times over the last couple of years, but today I am choosing to embrace it and see it as a gentle reminder to remain thankful and centered and focus on all of the good in life.