The One Where We Announce We're Adopting


Yes, Friends inspired the title for this post. It seemed appropriate, given the subject matter and that Chandler and Monica also went through the adoption process. And given that it's the greatest show ever (not up for debate). Anyway, I digress. I can't believe it's been almost two months since my last post. There has certainly been a lot of activity happening over here since then. It's hard to believe it's been almost a month since we made the move from Wisconsin to Illinois. We've been working on adjusting to our new routines, new town, and new house. We've also started working on some projects on the new house (because of course we have; we can't help ourselves 😄), which I will of course be highlighting here at some point.

Yet with all of that happening (and as if that's not enough on our plate 😄), I think the most important aspect of our move has been our decision to move forward with starting the process to adopt a baby. In my last post, I promised I would share more details about that decision, so here goes.

Let me start by saying that although both Ray and I had separately thought about adopting a child prior to discovering our fertility issues, we had actually never talked about it with each other. Funny how that happens. And even when we were told it would be very difficult for us to have a child biologically, we still didn't seriously discuss it for quite a while, except perhaps in passing as something to consider down the road. Of course, this is obviously not a decision you come to quickly, but I think in addition to that, I personally needed time for the desire to adopt, as well as the knowing that the timing was right, to be fully realized.

In deciding to adopt, I also understood that I needed - or certainly wanted - to figure out how I felt about continuing to focus on fertility. I was having an internal battle with myself around the idea that deciding to adopt equaled giving up on us ever having biological children. I realized that I was the only one making myself feel like I had to choose between the two. I still believe that we will have a biological child, thus I still believe I should continue the fertility work I'm doing through Traditional Chinese Medicine (as an aside, we are seeing positive changes which continues to give us hope - more about this in a future post). And while I don't understand why this is our path, I have come to realize that asking why - no matter what the situation - is not productive. We both fully believe that there is a child meant to be a part of our family, and had we not run into fertility issues, we likely wouldn't have embarked on the adoption journey, or at least the timing would have been very different. So perhaps that's the reason. We don't know. But we continue to trust God to guide our steps.

Understandably, I have a lot of emotions about adopting - excited, hopeful, overwhelmed, anxious, nervous, scared, and excited again - and am fully aware that it may be a long road and that we need to gear up mentally, spiritually, and physically for the journey. But we also know that we have a lot of love to give a child and that, for now, is a great place to start.

So what happens next? We are working with a wonderful adoption consultant who will be guiding us through the entire process, and is already helping us to feel a little less overwhelmed. Since we're just in the early stages, we are starting to work on our home study. (Hopefully Joey won't have any awkward history with our social worker. Seriously, go watch Friends. You won't regret it). We appreciate the continued support as well as any prayers thrown our way during this process. I'll continue to update this space as we embark on this new adventure!

Grace With Attitude